Well the long and short of it is that he hates everything.
In the past, with Basco, yeah. They could do things and he loved every minute of it! Being together, just hanging out even, it was the best time of his life for a long time. Because he just assumed that nothing would have to change, that they would always be that close, he never really thought about any other possibilities. So when Basco turned against them, it kind of fucked up a lot of perspectives! WHICH IS RELEVANT because how does I emotional commitments?
If it weren't Basco from the past, he'd be able to just deal with his blind anger. But it's ... the Basco that he adored and the one he thought the universe of? So it's super shitty to look at him and be reminded of all the good times and of the subsequent sudden but inevitable betrayal. Just being near Basco is a mess he doesn't want to deal with ever again, and that is not an option. He is physically uncomfortable with every encounter and the back and forth going on in his mind.
... which doesn't even factor in Joe's role in all of it. Because yes, he is the person in the universe that Marvelous trusts the most, and the only person he trusts with his back. If he compared the two, he knows that the bond with Joe is stronger, because there have never really been lies between them. There was never any holding back.
Dealing with camp and feelings is TERRIBLE and he DISLIKES IT GREATLY and being able to say "kay yes I like you more than I did before" really did help! Even if that conversation went nowhere. Because it was just OUT THERE and bottling things up is not a thing Marvelous can really do. His heart is on his sleeve and all. Joe knows there are feelings, that is what matters, he doesn't mind what comes next (so long as Basco isn't being physical).
So from one side, he's being tormented by the person he used to care for the most, and on the other side it's the person he respects and trusts the most, and everything is pain and nothing is magic. He doesn't want them even in the same room, because he knows better than anyone else what Basco is capable of and how he can twist feelings and emotions around.
SO IT SUCKS AND IT'S STUPID AND just let's not engage, sleepin in your bed again to forget his ugly face (which is less ugly when he doesn't want to kill me openly).
no subject
In the past, with Basco, yeah. They could do things and he loved every minute of it! Being together, just hanging out even, it was the best time of his life for a long time. Because he just assumed that nothing would have to change, that they would always be that close, he never really thought about any other possibilities. So when Basco turned against them, it kind of fucked up a lot of perspectives! WHICH IS RELEVANT because how does I emotional commitments?
If it weren't Basco from the past, he'd be able to just deal with his blind anger. But it's ... the Basco that he adored and the one he thought the universe of? So it's super shitty to look at him and be reminded of all the good times and of the subsequent sudden but inevitable betrayal. Just being near Basco is a mess he doesn't want to deal with ever again, and that is not an option. He is physically uncomfortable with every encounter and the back and forth going on in his mind.
... which doesn't even factor in Joe's role in all of it. Because yes, he is the person in the universe that Marvelous trusts the most, and the only person he trusts with his back. If he compared the two, he knows that the bond with Joe is stronger, because there have never really been lies between them. There was never any holding back.
Dealing with camp and feelings is TERRIBLE and he DISLIKES IT GREATLY and being able to say "kay yes I like you more than I did before" really did help! Even if that conversation went nowhere. Because it was just OUT THERE and bottling things up is not a thing Marvelous can really do. His heart is on his sleeve and all. Joe knows there are feelings, that is what matters, he doesn't mind what comes next (so long as Basco isn't being physical).
So from one side, he's being tormented by the person he used to care for the most, and on the other side it's the person he respects and trusts the most, and everything is pain and nothing is magic. He doesn't want them even in the same room, because he knows better than anyone else what Basco is capable of and how he can twist feelings and emotions around.
SO IT SUCKS AND IT'S STUPID AND just let's not engage, sleepin in your bed again to forget his ugly face (which is less ugly when he doesn't want to kill me openly).
THAT WAS A LOT
Joe on having feeeeeeellllls